I need to tell you something. I’m really enjoying being selfish.
I think my recent birthday has encouraged some life reflection. Bear with me. I’ll reward you with lemon coconut bars at the end of this self-indulgence.
My mid to late twenties has been full of travel and adventure and wine (some of which was from the expensive row in the bottle shop) and decidedly lacking in mortgages and loans. I don’t have too many responsibilities right now besides taking care of myself and being a good wife, sister, daughter, granddaughter, friend. I’m striving to be a good business lady and to educate myself. And I’m enjoying it. I’m fiercely enjoying my “me time”.
Why all the drama? Well, as I get older I am acutely aware that this “me time” will soon fade. No, this is not a pregnancy announcement (someone hand me the Campari), but if I am lucky enough to have a family some day, things are going to change.
Oh, with children I will experience more love than I ever thought possible and my life will be fulfilled in new and overwhelming ways, of this I am certain. And I will surely look back on my present time and think “how on Earth did I fill my days?”… It’s going to be magic.
But I’m not there yet. Despite the questions and expectations and belly glances from those around me.
And so, I am doing my best to enjoy this time before Ben and I expand our family. It may be only a couple more years when it’s just the two of us. And I really like the two of us. This is such a fun stage in my life. So I’m savouring it. All of it.
I’m savouring being able to focus solely on my best friend, spending a ridiculous amount of time making him the perfect sandwich, having movie marathons til the early hours of the morning and watching him sleep because he’s more perfect than that perfect sandwich (even if it did have roasted balsamic onions).
I’m savouring being able to spend all day cooking, losing myself in a book and letting unscheduled hours pass by before pouring a big glass of wine and on a whim deciding to go out to dinner.
I’m not saying I won’t have time for any of this AC (after children). But it will be different. My priorities will shift. It will be amazing. But it will be different. So for now, I’m really enjoying being selfish.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Childless at twenty eight, it’s shocking, I know. And I’m aware that these questions simply mean that people are just excited for us. I suppose the awkward monitoring of my wine glass at every single social occasion has gotten to me. I’m sure some of you can relate.
Here, have some lemon coconut bars (recipe link). I selfishly did not dust these lovelies with powdered sugar, prioritising my personal flavour preference over a prettier picture. But hey, I did give some to my dad and grandfather (lemon bars are far more exciting than a baby, right?). Maybe I’m not so selfish after all…