Happenings 6.12.20

DOING: sitting at the kitchen bench. Walt is napping, Joan is at kinder and Ben is at a work meeting in the city. How strange and good it must feel to be seeing his colleagues face-to-face. I wonder how much longer he’ll be working from home. I need him here at the moment because after fracturing my heel bone last month I am unable to weight-bear on my right foot. For more than four weeks I’ve been moving about with crutches and wearing a moon boot (which is there to both protect my foot and remind me not to weight-bear). It all feels very unfortunate. And it might be quite some time before I can walk normally, as scans have shown my heel isn’t healing ideally and I might need surgery. Oomf. We’re doing ok, though. It all felt particularly hard in the beginning, as I was getting used to non-weight-bearing life…and then it felt hard all over again when I heard I might need surgery. Joan was listening in when I got that phone call. She saw my tears and I told her I felt disappointed because I thought I was going to be able to walk soon. I told her I needed a good cry, and that I suppose I was just going to have to wait a little longer to walk. Joan then suggested I buy myself lots of treats like books and cherries to help make this time easier, and I told her that was a great idea.

HEARING: the sound of the clock ticking. It’s presently very quiet in my house, and when I pause and pay attention that’s all I can hear.

DRINKING: the remainder of my morning black coffee. It’s cold and wonderful.

EATING + COOKING: The first few weeks of life with crutches I found myself positively exhausted by the afternoon, so instead of cooking an evening meal I worked my way though my freezer stash of dhal and bolognese. Mum made lentils for us at one point, which we ate over a few nights, followed by lots of simple meals like scrambled eggs and pasta. My energy levels are quite good now though, so I’m doing a bit more cooking. I’ve been doing mini workouts a few times a week with some light weights that I bought from the op shop a few years ago. My movement is very limited, so I don’t do much, but all the same it’s helped me feel strong and energised.

This week we’ve been having toast for breakfast, as usual. Though Joan has requested porridge a few times and Ben, being the porridge lover he is, has obliged her. While Joan is at kinder Walt and I have been having leftover roasted or steamed veggies for lunch with sauerkraut (Walt loves the stuff, he calls it “trout”) and either canned fish or legumes, maybe a boiled egg if I have one on hand. Or I’ll make a snack plate with crackers, veggie sticks and cheese. I’ve been loving potatoes at the moment, either roasted or steamed for a warm salad. We’ve also been having lots of pesto pasta. Lots of pasta in general, as it’s quick to make. Ben is on a mission to perfect his seafood linguini, which is excellent news; the kids and I fully support his endeavour.

Even though I’m enjoying cooking, I’ve been trying to limit what I do. I have a chair in the kitchen which helps me move from bench to stove and back again, but it’s rather energy consuming. The kiddos also need me to be close in the lead up to dinner, as they’re invariably tired at that time and full of big feelings, which often sees them exploding and attacking each other. And because of this foot situation I can’t hurry to support them, pick them up or do what I need to do to keep them safe. So I try to just be there, anticipating their needs and offering them support before things escalate. It’s been nice being with them building duplo or watching Sesame Street, though. I’m cooking less but I know all the words to The Letter of the Day song.

WANTING: my heel to heal so I can walk on my foot and carry my babes. I cannot wait for that day to come.

LOOKING: for a Christmas present for my nephew. My brother-in-law and his kids will be coming over to our house the weekend before Christmas to celebrate and exchange gifts. Joan is already planning a festive performance for everyone. No doubt Walt will dress up and join in. I have a few ideas for what to make for lunch, though I might see what the weather will be like before deciding; you just never know if you’re going to be hit with a scorcher.

DECIDING:  what cake to make for Ben’s birthday next week. It’ll be something rich and chocolatey, because that’s how he likes his cakes. Joan and I have been discussing the matter for some time, the two of us flipping through cookbooks at the kitchen table. As of this week we have come to the agreement that if we have time we will make a three layered chocolate cake from Flour and Stone’s cookbook, but if the kiddos are having a day where they’re struggling and needs are high, we’ll go for a simpler cake - perhaps Nigella’s.

ENJOYING: the sight of our Christmas tree. Last Christmas we bought a Cedrus deodara ‘Aurea’, hoping it would live in our garden throughout the year, ready to come indoors each December. Despite my unquestionably poor gardening skills, it survived (it actually did really well) and is now sitting proudly in the corner of our kitchen/lounge-room area, with fairy lights woven through its branches and some lovely felt angels and decorations that I bought from Etsy. Walt is inclined to grab anything ball-shaped and throw it, you see, yelling “dunk ball!” as he does - it’s a reflex, and a rather cute one (if a little hazardous). So, this year we went for felt. Maybe next year I’ll bring the delicate decorations back out. Or the year after.

PLANNING: last week I was busy planning activities for our advent calendar (which I also bought from Etsy). I like to write a little Christmas-themed activity on a card to put in each pocket - something small, achievable and which will hopefully be fun for the kids (though Joan is regularly disappointed with whatever I have written), while also encouraging a sense of gratitude and giving. It takes a bit of brain power on November 30th to put it all together but after that it’s all very easy. If things pop up and we don’t get around to doing the designated activity, that’s totally fine; we might do it another day. Before writing each activity I take note of what day of the week we’ll be working with and whether the kiddos will be tired (i.e. if it’s a kinder day) or whether it’s a weekend and Ben will be with us. On kinder days I often make it just ‘read a Christmas book’ or ‘watch a Christmas show’. Just before her final kinder session I have ‘bake gingerbread for kinder buddies’ or ‘write cards for your kinder teachers’. We’re going to visit my grandparents next weekend to see all their Christmas decorations (it’s like a Christmas wonderland!), and we’re also going to be gifting to those who aren’t as fortunate as us. And then on the 24th we have our tradition of watching The Nutcracker and leaving a snack for Santa and his reindeers.

WATCHING: I’ve started watching season four of The Crown. If you’re also watching, may I direct you to this video for a giggle. The kiddos and I have been watching Christmas-themed shows every now and then. Our favourites are The Snowy Day and Brambly Hedge. I’m looking for an Aussie Christmas show to add to the mix.

READING: I’m still going with my re-read of Pride and Prejudice. The kiddos are such bookworms, I can’t tell you how many books we read during the day. So often when standing in the kitchen I’ll look over to see Walt sitting on the couch, a book in his lap and a stack more to his side. His current favourites are Corduroy, Emily the Engine Driver, Noni the Pony, Kissed by the Moon and Goodnight Moon. I also treated us to a new Christmas book this year. It’s called Christmas Cookies and the kids adore it.

WEARING: a giant moon boot. I’m clearly feeling a little resentful.

BUYING: Christmas presents. As always, we’ve been trying to buy small and local. This year we got quite a few presents for the kids from Dragonfly Toys. I’ve also been buying things throughout the year from Little Nook to tuck away. For grown ups I’m a big a fan of food gifts from local producers - jams, nice salt, chocolate and olive oil. I’d be thrilled to receive fancy olive oil.

CRAVING: after all this Christmas talk I’m craving Christmas lunch! Mostly the stuffing and gravy mum makes. Oh, and the boozy sauce that goes with our plum pudding.

LOVING: my conversations with Walt. He’s now saying sentences and sharing his thoughts with ease, and it’s such a joy and honour to hear about what he is feeling, seeing and thinking.

PLAYING: Walt continues to love playing with toy trucks, buses and cars, while Joan loves making up stories, drawing, practicing writing and pretending to be a mermaid. Actually Walt loves to pretend to be a mermaid, too. Now that he’s more able to join Joan in imaginative play - to really be in that world with her and stay in that world for some time - they’ve been having such fun together, and it’s been really nice to watch.

SAVOURING: while I desperately wish I could walk around again, there is a silver lining to being unable to weight-bear, and that is being forced to be more present with my kids. This was actually something I was working on before my fracture, as I have a tendency to sit and play for a little while but then get up to make coffee, and then sit back down but then get up to drink that coffee, and then sit back down but then get up to prep a snack, and then sit back down but then go a get a book. I can’t do that now, though; I need to sit down and stay down. And while initially it was terribly frustrating, it’s been really good for me. I actually enjoy playing trucks and duplo, or drawing with Joan, so this doesn’t feel like a chore for me (hide & seek or crafting on the other hand…). And for the first time in a long time I feel like I’m really with them while we do these activities, instead of searching for something else to do.

FEELING: upset about my heel, longing for it to be better and frustrated with how hard it is to move about. I’m also feeling accepting - this is just my reality at the moment; and grateful for all the good things in my life - there are so many. I’m also really looking forward to Christmas, to see the joy on my kids’ faces in the morning, to hug my grandparents and to eat lots of stuffing.

Happenings posts inspired by Pip.

Heidi xo