Happenings 22.3.20
DOING: sitting at my desk in my bedroom. It’s Saturday morning and the kiddos are full of energy and feelings - big feelings. After the week we’ve had I’m totally tapped out, so I grabbed my cup of coffee and retreated to the bedroom, leaving Ben to hold down the fort.
HEARING: this piece of music, on repeat. It’s wonderfully calming. Most of the Pride & Prejudice soundtrack is calming actually, but I find this one does the trick particularly well.
DRINKING: a coffee. I’ve been super into plunger coffee lately. After searching and searching for completely biodegradable + organic capsules for our coffee machine (which we were very kindly gifted), I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d simply rather good old ground coffee beans, hot water and a plunger.
BUYING: over the past month Ben and I have been a lot more thoughtful than usual with our purchasing, as we anticipate lockdowns and isolation. What a strange time this is. We have our necessities, and for us that looks like our favourite nutrient-dense food (such as tinned fish, frozen peas and legumes - more on this below), as well as soap and some children’s panadol. I’m grateful that is the extent of our needs, as not everyone can get by with so little. Some people have high needs and limited access, and it’s incredibly important to be thinking of others at this time - to care for those in our community who need our support. Many people are facing this unsettling time in an immunocompromised state, meaning their immune system isn’t functioning optimally and they are more vulnerable to becoming sick. There are also many people with mental health issues who will find this season immensely challenging, as fear, uncertainty and isolation tend to exacerbate symptoms. We need to check in with each other. Be safe when reaching out, but do reach out. You might be able to drop by food, medication or books to someone’s doorstep, or organise home delivery of some necessities. You might be able to assist someone in setting up online counselling sessions. Or you might simply call someone for a chat and while on the phone read them a story, play them a song, or watch a movie together - side by side but in your own homes.
That’s another other way you can care for others - staying home. This is important because doing so will reduce your chance of exposure and therefore reduce the overall load on our medical system. Last weekend I felt a little fluey, so we cancelled plans and stayed in. And even though I recovered quickly, Ben and I decided to remain home. Social distancing is immensely helpful in flattening the curve as the corona virus spreads, and we are in the privileged position where we can stay home - so we are. As Ben works in his study and I potter around with my kids, it’s not lost on me how lucky I am to be in my situation. I’m content in my home. Our rooms are filled with books. We have blankets and a washing machine. We have craft supplies and a television. We have a garden! And I feel safe in my home. Not everyone is in a similar situation. Again, check in on others. And if you can stay home, please do. Stay home for those who truly can’t, and for the health workers who are selflessly looking after us all.
This prompt was supposed to be about buying, wasn’t it? Let me get back to that. Presently we’re limiting our trips to the shops, but in the month prior to this (back when I was shopping as normal - every 4 days or so), I gradually built up our pantry/freezer stores by adding a few more items to my list each trip, so that should we get sick and need to isolate for a couple of weeks, we would be comfortable. Our pantry is now stocked with canned fish, legumes (both canned and dried), passata, coconut milk, broth powder (this is my favourite - it lasts a long time, adds amazing flavour to dishes and is something my family all like to sip when we’re feeling poorly), oats, rice, pasta, quinoa, extra virgin olive oil, ghee and nut butters. In our fridge we have eggs, dates, sauerkraut, milk kefir (Walt’s favourite) and cod liver oil, plus frozen peas, a loaf of bread and a few meals of dhal and beef casserole in our freezer. We have parsley in our garden and are receiving lemons and pears from my parents’ trees, and while we continue to buy fresh vegetables and fruit from the shops, it’s now only Ben who heads out, and just once a week. I certainly feel as though I’ve developed a new appreciation for food and my ability to nourish my family. I hope we all come out the other side of this pandemic having experienced a collective shift in the way we purchase and consume our food - a move away from disconnection and entitlement, to a place of gratitude and deep, deep respect. A place where we are able to use what we have on hand and feel more content with less.
Though we’ve been buying less overall, Ben and I are still trying to spend money here and there in an effort to support small, local businesses, many of whom will be struggling. We’ve bought some books from Farrells, who have kindly offered home delivery, and have purchased some vouchers from local restaurants, which we intend to use when all this settles down. Whenever that may be.
If you have any other ideas on how we can support those who will be hit hard by these times, please leave suggestions in the comments section below.
EATING + COOKING: one positive thing that has come from staying home is that we’ve been doing lots of cooking. I’ve made our favourites like dhal, beef casserole, lasagne and roasted veggies, but we’ve also been leafing through cookbooks in search of new recipes and those we’ve been wanting to make for a while, like this really good chicken, olive and citrus bake from Rachel Roddy’s Two Kitchen's cookbook. We’ve also done a bit of baking. Joan and I made cookies - this recipe (note: I use extra virgin olive oil instead of canola), which I love because it’s super simple + fast and doesn’t use eggs (which we’re low on). We also made granola and plan on making Anja’s speedy apple cake, should we get our hands on some apples. Oh, and I want to bake bread using some of my dad’s sourdough starter. Sourdough is new territory for me. I don’t have high hopes, seeing as my oven isn’t exactly in tip top shape, so we’ll see how I go.
For those of you searching for recipe inspiration during this time, I’ve created a list below of simple recipes that can manage a few substitutions based on what you have on hand. These recipes are also, I find, wonderfully comforting - both to make and eat.
Chickpea + parmesan salad - a very simple, very satisfying salad. You can use cannellini beans if you don’t have (or don’t fancy) chickpeas.
Bagna Cauda - a dreamy sauce made from butter, olive oil, garlic and anchovies. Use it as a dip with vegetables or pour it over cooked pasta with fresh parsley or fennel fronds. In my dream scenario, I’d serve it over a mountain of mashed parsnip.
Taco bowls - this is one of my family’s favourite quick meals. We love the ground beef recipe in this link, but I mostly make it vegetarian using whatever fresh veg we can find (usually a grated carrot, sliced tomato and, if we’re lucky, some mashed avocado), plus canned black beans and canned corn. Cook a grain if you can - this will help make the meal more filling. Though often I simply add corn chips or tortillas on the side. If you’ve got a jar of salsa on hand you can stir this through the black beans, which is what we did last night (see picture below).
Tuna, chilli, lemon pasta - canned sardines or salmon both work well here. When I don’t have spinach I add frozen peas or just loads of parsley.
Sweet potato + chickpea curry - you can use pumpkin or white potato in place of sweet potato. Cauliflower works well, too. If you don’t have any fresh veg, add an extra can of chickpeas and some frozen peas. You can replace the almond butter with peanut butter, and if you don’t have lime or lemon juice try a tiny splash of vinegar for some acidity.
Pea + parmesan soup - this is from an old blog post back when I was struggling to get my cycle to return after coming off the pill. As it turns out Joan doesn’t love this soup, but the rest of us do.
My mother’s famous lentil recipe - we ate these lentils every week growing up. They’re great served over rice or quinoa. Leftovers are marvellous on toast or spooned into puff pastry to make pasties.
Dhal - these days I make my dhal a little differently (my book has my new recipe) but this old version is still super delicious. Don’t worry about the capsicum if you don’t have any.
Pasta with slow-roasted tomatoes - if you find yourself with an abundance of tomatoes, give this a go. You can serve the tomatoes over chickpeas if you want a break from pasta. They’re also great on toast with ricotta or scrambled eggs.
A simple crumble - I love how quickly this recipe comes together - just pouring, stirring and you’re done.
Joan’s Chocolate Clair Bars - here is a recipe from my book, for those of you who have a bunch of nuts on hand and want to make a super energising snack. These bars freeze really well.
WANTING: this to unfold as smoothly as possible for us all.
LOOKING: usually I use this prompt to say what I’m looking forward to. But at the moment it feels more apt to be a little more present and tell you what I am literally looking at right now. And that’s the tree outside my bedroom window. It’s full of green leaves, which will soon change to yellow. Then brown. And then there will be no leaves - for a while. And then they will be green again.
DECIDING: how we are going to go about our ‘family sleepover’ tonight. Without fully thinking it through, I suggested to Joan that the four of us sleep in the same room. She’s really taken to the idea and has been dancing around the house saying “Family sleepover! Family sleepover!”. I plan on stringing fairy lights around the bed, reading some books together and maybe getting out a special blanket - all of which sounds lovely and achievable, it’s more the act of falling asleep together that will require some coordination. Will any of us sleep? Will I get kicked in the stomach during the night? I’ll report back in the morning. UPDATE: After some bedtime struggles from Joan (which has been happening a lot lately), we all slept! And I didn’t get kicked! Walt did wake us up super early but that’s nothing new. And I honestly didn’t mind because the look on his face when he saw his sister and dad (who were asleep on a mattress on the floor beside our bed) was the very definition of joy.
ENJOYING: this long nap Walt is taking. About an hour ago Ben brought our tired little man to our bedroom. I breastfed him and he fell asleep, I then lay him down on the bed and rolled away without waking him (which always feels like an enormous victory) and he’s still sleeping! I can hear Ben and Joan in the kitchen assembling lunch. We’re having roasted broccoli (Joan’s favourite) with scrambled eggs and toast.
WATCHING: Ben and I are working our way through Succession. Once or twice a week we will watch an episode together, though it’s often just half an episode before I fall asleep. It’s a great show, we love it. He was busy working last night though, so I started watching The Stranger, upon recommendation from a friend. I’m only twenty minutes in but am already hooked.
READING: Fleishman is in Trouble. Again, I get through very few pages before falling asleep, but I’m loving those few pages I do read.
WEARING: jeans and tshirts, with a cozy knitted jumper and slippers in the mornings. Autumn weather is my very favourite.
PLANNING: all I seem to have been planning lately is what to make for dinner. Though I’m realising that Joan is going to need more structure to her days, and I’m going to need to do some (not a lot, but some) planning in regards to how our days will unfold. At the moment Joan just thinks that school holidays are here already and she’s such a homebody I don’t think an extended break will be too challenging, but she will definitely need and crave more structure and predictability. I know she’ll miss going to kinder and spending time with her friends, and it breaks my heart that she can’t be free to hold hands, giggle closely and share special trinkets with her buddies. Every time I think about this, I feel like I could cry. And while I’m ordinarily fine with Joan seeing me cry, as I think it helps her learn how to express her emotions in a healthy way, I haven’t let her pick up on my concerns. I’ve felt very protective of her in this regard. She doesn’t hear the news and her grandparents know that we don’t talk about the corona virus in front of her. Ben and I have a code word for the word ‘cancelled’ because I don’t want her to keep hearing that word. Life is different, and will be for some time, but I don’t want her to feel as though her world is falling apart. I want her to feel safe. So I’ve told her the bare minimum. She is well aware that all of us sometimes get sick with colds and viruses, and I’ve simply built on this, telling her that there’s a virus going around at the moment and so we are all making sure we don’t spread germs. We are washing our hands really well (I try to give lots of positive feedback when she does this, so she feels good about washing her hands), and when we see other people we are giving them plenty of space. This week I listened to a podcast episode that had a great idea for helping kids understand why we need to practice social distancing. It’s hard to explain, so I encourage you to listen to the episode yourself, but essentially it involved passing a tissue back and forth while moving further and further away. It worked really well for Joan. Here is the episode link, if you want to listen to see if it might work for your kiddos, too (you can fast forward to the 8:30 minute mark to hear the suggestion).
So, what am I going to plan for our days? I’m not sure yet, but it will be very simple. Knowing my kiddos and what they tend to enjoy/need at different times when we’re at home, I imagine it will flow like this…
Wake (obscenely early), get the kiddos dressed and let them play while I have a shower.
Breakfast.
I’ll then tidy the breakfast things while they play some more, then I might join them to build blocks or do some imaginative play. Or we may go outside into the backyard, taking a snack with us if they need one.
Walt will probably need a nap then (he tends to need one just a few hours after waking), so I will set Joan up with an audiobook (she loves The Magic Faraway Tree or storytime on ABC kids radio) while I put him down.
Once Walt is asleep I will sit and read Joan a story, or set her up to draw or paint while I prepare lunch. Joan might help if she’s in the mood.
When Walt wakes we’ll all have lunch and then the kiddos will play while I tidy up.
At this point, if Joan is tired and struggling to play kindly with Walt, she may rest in her room - lying on her bed while listening to an audiobook. Joan resting in her room is a new practice for us and, amazingly, she’s super happy to do it. I think it’s because she has relaxation time at kinder. I usually leave her there for 30 minutes before checking in on her. While she rests Walt will hopefully be fine playing on his own while I start dinner prep. If he’s needing me I might put him in his highchair with drawing things or a snack, and if that doesn’t work I’ll just hold him while I cook.
Walt will then have another nap and I will spend time with Joan, following her lead with what she wants to do. We’ll probably eat a snack here, too.
We might then head outside or if it’s too wet or too hot I’ll put the tv on. I usually offer Joan a choice of Play School, Daniel Tiger or Sesame Street. Or it’ll be Bluey or a movie (My Neighbour Totoro, Winnie the Pooh, Mary Poppins, Tinkerbell or Alice in Wonderland are her favourites). Walt doesn’t really watch tv - he tends to just dance to the theme song before losing interest, and will then sit there pulling out books and generally making a mess while I finish making dinner.
Hopefully then we will get some fresh air before we eat. I really try to take the kids outside at this time, even if for just ten minutes. Ben will then pause work and we’ll have dinner around 5/5:30pm. Then it’s bath and bedtime. I’ll lay with Joan while Ben will tidies the kitchen and takes Walt for a walk. When they get home, I put Walt to bed.
So there we go, I suppose we do have a structure. I guess I just need to make it more known to Joan, announcing what is happening so she knows what to expect. “Alright, it’s outside time now! And then we will go inside and Walt will nap” - that sort of thing.
PLAYING: we’ve been making a lot of cubbies and block towers this week. Lots of crafting, too, which is not my idea of fun but Joan loves it. This weekend I reorganised our craft cupboard so things are more easily accessible for her.
CRAVING: falafel. We might make some this week. I’m also craving fresh bread, hence my desire to get baking.
LOVING: our backyard. To have our own green space feels like such a treat during this time. We bought Joan a mud kitchen for her third birthday, and the kiddos have been putting it to good use. Fresh air and sunshine do wonders for your mental wellbeing, as does placing your bare feet on the ground.
SAVOURING: this coffee. This naptime for my babe. This moment I have to sit and write and regain my energy before heading into a new week. I love caring for my little people but it is incredibly draining to be their person 24/7, especially when you are trying to protect them and make them feel safe when you yourself are feeling unsettled. I’m trying to fit in extra self-care when I can but that’s not always easy. Writing has helped. A lot, actually.
FEELING: many things. So many feelings at the moment. Mostly it’s a combination of shocked, unsettled, protective, drained, connected and thankful.
I hope you’re feeling ok, wherever you are. Please comment below with any ideas you may have to help us support one another. To all those beautiful pregnant mummas about to give birth, my thoughts are with you. I’m sending you all lots of love.
Happenings posts inspired by Pip.
Heidi xo